weetuskenraider: (Meditating No Rly)
Moving down to the cabins had not exactly been a high priority for Tahiri after Saturday night; she and Ben had spent a good portion of Sunday more or less hiding from everything.

Eventually the need to do something superseded the urge to repress -- and it was starting to hit her that in this situation there was less to repress than she'd expected there to be -- and she set out to find her cabin. Packing was, as always, easy; a couple of changes of clothing, her comlink and datapad, and she was basically set.

Which didn't make her alcove any less empty, or the emptiness any more comforting for its expectedness.

Tahiri could say she was meditating, sitting on her bed with her back against the alcove wall. But that would be a lie.

[OOC: Was supposed to do this yesterday but yay for the day absolutely running away on me. Open with patches of SP, for cabinmates or visitors and oh, yeah, that Skywalker kid.]
weetuskenraider: (Meditating No Rly)
Moving down to the cabins had not exactly been a high priority for Tahiri after Saturday night; she and Ben had spent a good portion of Sunday more or less hiding from everything.

Eventually the need to do something superseded the urge to repress -- and it was starting to hit her that in this situation there was less to repress than she'd expected there to be -- and she set out to find her cabin. Packing was, as always, easy; a couple of changes of clothing, her comlink and datapad, and she was basically set.

Which didn't make her alcove any less empty, or the emptiness any more comforting for its expectedness.

Tahiri could say she was meditating, sitting on her bed with her back against the alcove wall. But that would be a lie.

[OOC: Was supposed to do this yesterday but yay for the day absolutely running away on me. Open with patches of SP, for cabinmates or visitors and oh, yeah, that Skywalker kid.]
weetuskenraider: (Sleeping (Angstily))
The dream itself was no surprise; Tahiri had been having dreams like this for over two years now. The setting and the context, though -- those were new. These dreams usually took place back on Yavin 4, or on the Errant Venture,, or an asteroid in the Yag'Dhul sector, or on that worldship orbiting Myrkr.

She wasn't used to seeing that familiar lopsided grin and those blue eyes a scant meter or two across the salle here in Fandom. )

***
When she woke, smiling wistfully, Tahiri got out of bed and changed into a clean set of robes -- one of her older pairs, well-worn and comfortable even if the trousers were a bit shorter than she'd gotten used to -- before slipping out of the room and away from the dorms. She wasn't sure where she was going just yet, but something was pulling her toward the woods, and without questioning why she followed.

[OOC: 'staaaaaaablishy. Would've been up, you know, forever ago but no, my brain took a siesta.]
weetuskenraider: (Sleeping (Angstily))
The dream itself was no surprise; Tahiri had been having dreams like this for over two years now. The setting and the context, though -- those were new. These dreams usually took place back on Yavin 4, or on the Errant Venture,, or an asteroid in the Yag'Dhul sector, or on that worldship orbiting Myrkr.

She wasn't used to seeing that familiar lopsided grin and those blue eyes a scant meter or two across the salle here in Fandom. )

***
When she woke, smiling wistfully, Tahiri got out of bed and changed into a clean set of robes -- one of her older pairs, well-worn and comfortable even if the trousers were a bit shorter than she'd gotten used to -- before slipping out of the room and away from the dorms. She wasn't sure where she was going just yet, but something was pulling her toward the woods, and without questioning why she followed.

[OOC: 'staaaaaaablishy. Would've been up, you know, forever ago but no, my brain took a siesta.]
weetuskenraider: (Not Quite Smiling)
Tahiri had been on her way down to the salle for a lightsaber workout when she'd felt an unfamiliar and yet somehow familiar Force presence brushing against hers.

It was curiosity more than anything else that had her hurrying out of the dorms in search of that presence; it didn't feel like King had last year, but it was a child's presence, and it was calling for her. And even though it was weird, even though she knew how this went, there was really no way Tahiri could do anything but answer that call.

She'd tracked the child's Force presence down to the beach and slowly made her way through the sand, then stopped when she saw a tiny figure in Jedi robes coming toward her. She smiled, and started forward again -- and realized exactly why that Force presence felt so familiar.

Oh, kriff.

[OOC: For me.]
weetuskenraider: (Not Quite Smiling)
Tahiri had been on her way down to the salle for a lightsaber workout when she'd felt an unfamiliar and yet somehow familiar Force presence brushing against hers.

It was curiosity more than anything else that had her hurrying out of the dorms in search of that presence; it didn't feel like King had last year, but it was a child's presence, and it was calling for her. And even though it was weird, even though she knew how this went, there was really no way Tahiri could do anything but answer that call.

She'd tracked the child's Force presence down to the beach and slowly made her way through the sand, then stopped when she saw a tiny figure in Jedi robes coming toward her. She smiled, and started forward again -- and realized exactly why that Force presence felt so familiar.

Oh, kriff.

[OOC: For me.]
weetuskenraider: (In the Woods In Profile)
She had a lot to think about. She supposed she ought to be used to it by now, but it all just made everything in her head so much busier. Tahiri was tired of being tired, tired of losing chunks of her weeks because she'd been shoved to the back of her own mind by Riina, tired of her own mental stability being a rearguard battle of attrition.

There was no way she'd ever be the person she was before; she knew that now, and she'd accepted that, or been worn down enough to give in to it, if you wanted to look at it that way. The matter of accepting who she needed to become, though, was a snarl she'd yet to cut through. What Tahiri had learned from Tara did change things somewhat -- for all that the Yuuzhan Vong were fanatical and vicious, there was some innate decency somewhere. Beneath it all. She supposed she ought to have known that by now, having been raised by a race feared by most of Tatooine's populace, but . . .

Well. But what, she wasn't sure yet. So, avoiding the oddly persistent fruitcakes, she'd slipped away into the preserve as she did so often these days to find herself a quiet spot and meditate.

Or try to.

Firekeeper, on the other hand, was less interested in meditation and more in finding a good spot to start a fire. )

[OOC: Preplayed with the always amazing [livejournal.com profile] kestrelswolf, who made a handful of pings so much more than I hoped they'd be and as such gets my everlasting love. NFI, subject of conversation NFB, and OOC totally okay.]
weetuskenraider: (In the Woods In Profile)
She had a lot to think about. She supposed she ought to be used to it by now, but it all just made everything in her head so much busier. Tahiri was tired of being tired, tired of losing chunks of her weeks because she'd been shoved to the back of her own mind by Riina, tired of her own mental stability being a rearguard battle of attrition.

There was no way she'd ever be the person she was before; she knew that now, and she'd accepted that, or been worn down enough to give in to it, if you wanted to look at it that way. The matter of accepting who she needed to become, though, was a snarl she'd yet to cut through. What Tahiri had learned from Tara did change things somewhat -- for all that the Yuuzhan Vong were fanatical and vicious, there was some innate decency somewhere. Beneath it all. She supposed she ought to have known that by now, having been raised by a race feared by most of Tatooine's populace, but . . .

Well. But what, she wasn't sure yet. So, avoiding the oddly persistent fruitcakes, she'd slipped away into the preserve as she did so often these days to find herself a quiet spot and meditate.

Or try to.

Firekeeper, on the other hand, was less interested in meditation and more in finding a good spot to start a fire. )

[OOC: Preplayed with the always amazing [livejournal.com profile] kestrelswolf, who made a handful of pings so much more than I hoped they'd be and as such gets my everlasting love. NFI, subject of conversation NFB, and OOC totally okay.]
weetuskenraider: (Sleeping (Angstily))
Tahiri was sound asleep, a slight frown on her face, and despite having kicked the covers off hours ago she was sweating.

This was why she never got a good night's rest any more. )

She awoke and blinked sweat out of her eyes as she sat up, breath coming in ragged gasps. Stumbling to the bathroom, she splashed water on her face and hurried out of the cottage to a spot by the lake. She wasn't going to move from there until after the sun came up.

[OOC: Establishy, OOC okay. Oh so very loosely adapted from Force Heretic II: Refugee by Sean Williams and Shane Dix, whose prose I would not inflict upon you in its original form, with bits and pieces adapted from Star by Star by Troy Denning and Edge of Victory I: Conquest by Greg Keyes. I've been meaning to do this for days but writer's block kept foiling me.]
weetuskenraider: (Sleeping (Angstily))
Tahiri was sound asleep, a slight frown on her face, and despite having kicked the covers off hours ago she was sweating.

This was why she never got a good night's rest any more. )

She awoke and blinked sweat out of her eyes as she sat up, breath coming in ragged gasps. Stumbling to the bathroom, she splashed water on her face and hurried out of the cottage to a spot by the lake. She wasn't going to move from there until after the sun came up.

[OOC: Establishy, OOC okay. Oh so very loosely adapted from Force Heretic II: Refugee by Sean Williams and Shane Dix, whose prose I would not inflict upon you in its original form, with bits and pieces adapted from Star by Star by Troy Denning and Edge of Victory I: Conquest by Greg Keyes. I've been meaning to do this for days but writer's block kept foiling me.]
weetuskenraider: (Thoughtful Inna Sand)
She'd spent the night out on the beach with Ben, but a vague unsettling feeling had drawn Tahiri back to the cabins and the comlink she'd left in her alcove there -- it wasn't that she was in the habit of leaving it behind, but she hadn't wanted the potential interruption. (Not of that. Because there was no that. Just a chance to get some uninterrupted sleep, okay?)

There was, in fact, a message waiting for her when she got there, and as soon as she played it the unsettling feeling coalesced into something very much not vague any more. Jaina -- her Jaina at home -- never sounded like this, and yet she was practically exuberant. And it wasn't that Tahiri could blame her for being happy that her twin brother was alive after all.

She'd half expected it, really, and it saved her the guilt of hoping it wasn't going to happen, but at the same time it brought certain unwanted potential futures a little closer than she'd like for comfort. Having just met someone who looked exactly like Jacen, even if George sounded and acted nothing like him, didn't do much to help either. The timing was what really sucked void, though. Tahiri couldn't have stopped being aware of the time that had passed since Anakin's death if she tried, even if she wanted to, and by her count (including the time that had passed on her mission home in spring) it had been a year since Myrkr.

So it . . . wasn't unfair, exactly; she knew that. It was just the fact that she'd gotten news of one of Jaina's brothers being alive again had come now. When it marked a year since Anakin died, and she had to face up -- again -- to the realization that he wasn't coming back.

After getting the message, Tahiri had wandered away from the campsite into the preserve and now found herself staring at a cluster of grotesque-looking angel statues. She didn't know the story of what they were or how they had gotten there, but she got the sense that they were frozen in time, somehow. Stuck in a moment they couldn't get out of.

She hadn't had that dream again last night, but she'd had it often enough in the past few weeks. Had, to some extent, been stuck in that moment for the past year. Looking at the statues now, she wished she couldn't say she knew the feeling.

[OOC: Yeah, I'm a mean, horrible person. I know. I AM SO SORRY. And I swear she will get over this or I'm going to headdesk myself unconscious. Establishy, but open, why not? ETA: Details of convo with Karla NFB, whee.]
weetuskenraider: (Thoughtful Inna Sand)
She'd spent the night out on the beach with Ben, but a vague unsettling feeling had drawn Tahiri back to the cabins and the comlink she'd left in her alcove there -- it wasn't that she was in the habit of leaving it behind, but she hadn't wanted the potential interruption. (Not of that. Because there was no that. Just a chance to get some uninterrupted sleep, okay?)

There was, in fact, a message waiting for her when she got there, and as soon as she played it the unsettling feeling coalesced into something very much not vague any more. Jaina -- her Jaina at home -- never sounded like this, and yet she was practically exuberant. And it wasn't that Tahiri could blame her for being happy that her twin brother was alive after all.

She'd half expected it, really, and it saved her the guilt of hoping it wasn't going to happen, but at the same time it brought certain unwanted potential futures a little closer than she'd like for comfort. Having just met someone who looked exactly like Jacen, even if George sounded and acted nothing like him, didn't do much to help either. The timing was what really sucked void, though. Tahiri couldn't have stopped being aware of the time that had passed since Anakin's death if she tried, even if she wanted to, and by her count (including the time that had passed on her mission home in spring) it had been a year since Myrkr.

So it . . . wasn't unfair, exactly; she knew that. It was just the fact that she'd gotten news of one of Jaina's brothers being alive again had come now. When it marked a year since Anakin died, and she had to face up -- again -- to the realization that he wasn't coming back.

After getting the message, Tahiri had wandered away from the campsite into the preserve and now found herself staring at a cluster of grotesque-looking angel statues. She didn't know the story of what they were or how they had gotten there, but she got the sense that they were frozen in time, somehow. Stuck in a moment they couldn't get out of.

She hadn't had that dream again last night, but she'd had it often enough in the past few weeks. Had, to some extent, been stuck in that moment for the past year. Looking at the statues now, she wished she couldn't say she knew the feeling.

[OOC: Yeah, I'm a mean, horrible person. I know. I AM SO SORRY. And I swear she will get over this or I'm going to headdesk myself unconscious. Establishy, but open, why not? ETA: Details of convo with Karla NFB, whee.]
weetuskenraider: (Sleeping (Angstily))
Tahiri took her sleep when and where she could get it lately, which wasn't nearly as regularly as she'd like. And yes, part of that was her trying to avoid the dreams. They'd been a problem for two years now, ever since the fall of Yavin 4 and her time in the Yuuzhan Vong shaper compound, but they'd been more frequent since her last trip to Coruscant, more vivid since she'd taken Karla into her memories and relived her torture, more complicated since she'd learned certain things from Ben. And worse by far, of course, since Myrkr. In combination, it really wasn't conducive at all to sleep.

There was only so long she could go, though, before the healing trances she wasn't very good at yet didn't do the trick any more, and by the time she was done getting settled into her cabin the exhaustion had pretty much won out, so Tahiri gave in, stretched out on the bed in her alcove, and closed her eyes.

This, as it turned out, was exactly why she didn't get much rest lately. (Oh hey there, angst. Again.) )

That was when she woke, as she always did. Tahiri immediately made her way to the bathroom to splash water on her face -- that was a little trickier in the cabin, especially when she was disoriented -- then headed back to her alcove.

Not that she'd be sleeping this time.

[OOC: Just establishy, NFI, and for serious, I was planning on this before I knew [livejournal.com profile] trickster_twin was doing something really similar, but it's kind of an awesome coincidence. Bits and pieces of this have been borrowed and tweaked from Edge of Victory 2: Rebirth by Greg Keyes and the evil, evil, evil Star by Star by Troy Denning. OOC's okay though.]
weetuskenraider: (Sleeping (Angstily))
Tahiri took her sleep when and where she could get it lately, which wasn't nearly as regularly as she'd like. And yes, part of that was her trying to avoid the dreams. They'd been a problem for two years now, ever since the fall of Yavin 4 and her time in the Yuuzhan Vong shaper compound, but they'd been more frequent since her last trip to Coruscant, more vivid since she'd taken Karla into her memories and relived her torture, more complicated since she'd learned certain things from Ben. And worse by far, of course, since Myrkr. In combination, it really wasn't conducive at all to sleep.

There was only so long she could go, though, before the healing trances she wasn't very good at yet didn't do the trick any more, and by the time she was done getting settled into her cabin the exhaustion had pretty much won out, so Tahiri gave in, stretched out on the bed in her alcove, and closed her eyes.

This, as it turned out, was exactly why she didn't get much rest lately. (Oh hey there, angst. Again.) )

That was when she woke, as she always did. Tahiri immediately made her way to the bathroom to splash water on her face -- that was a little trickier in the cabin, especially when she was disoriented -- then headed back to her alcove.

Not that she'd be sleeping this time.

[OOC: Just establishy, NFI, and for serious, I was planning on this before I knew [livejournal.com profile] trickster_twin was doing something really similar, but it's kind of an awesome coincidence. Bits and pieces of this have been borrowed and tweaked from Edge of Victory 2: Rebirth by Greg Keyes and the evil, evil, evil Star by Star by Troy Denning. OOC's okay though.]
weetuskenraider: (Concentrating (Use the Force))
She was really starting to think she was long overdue for a break; it had been another rough week, and yesterday's talk with Master Skywalker was still churning around in her thoughts. Too much worry about this possible dark-side future version of herself, about what connection this might have to Riina. Riina, who according to Karla's theory couldn't simply be done away with. It scared her. Fear led to anger, anger led to the dark side, and then she was right back around to being scared again. She needed to be calmer, more focused, if she was going to do anything about all this.

Tahiri picked her way down the beach toward what had become her customary spot, seated herself comfortably in the sand beside the rock outcropping, and closed her eyes. She let her breathing slow, let her thoughts follow suit, and fell into a meditative trance.

It could have been minutes, or hours, she wasn't sure -- but a clear call for help resonated through the Force and snapped her back to attentiveness. Springing back to her feet, Tahiri put on a burst of Force-assisted speed and sprinted back toward the dorms long enough to grab her lightsaber from the weapons locker, then darted toward the woods and the source of the call.

[OOC: NFI and establishy!]
weetuskenraider: (Concentrating (Use the Force))
She was really starting to think she was long overdue for a break; it had been another rough week, and yesterday's talk with Master Skywalker was still churning around in her thoughts. Too much worry about this possible dark-side future version of herself, about what connection this might have to Riina. Riina, who according to Karla's theory couldn't simply be done away with. It scared her. Fear led to anger, anger led to the dark side, and then she was right back around to being scared again. She needed to be calmer, more focused, if she was going to do anything about all this.

Tahiri picked her way down the beach toward what had become her customary spot, seated herself comfortably in the sand beside the rock outcropping, and closed her eyes. She let her breathing slow, let her thoughts follow suit, and fell into a meditative trance.

It could have been minutes, or hours, she wasn't sure -- but a clear call for help resonated through the Force and snapped her back to attentiveness. Springing back to her feet, Tahiri put on a burst of Force-assisted speed and sprinted back toward the dorms long enough to grab her lightsaber from the weapons locker, then darted toward the woods and the source of the call.

[OOC: NFI and establishy!]
weetuskenraider: (Concentrating (Use the Force))
As decidedly less than thrilled Tahiri had been about the fact that someone had been able to pick up on her little mental friend so easily, Karla had offered her help. Riina had been pretty quiet lately -- but Tahiri didn't feel like counting on that to last. Although she wasn't holding out too much hope yet that there was actually a chance the girl she'd only just met a few days ago could do something about this problem, it definitely couldn't hurt to find out.

So with Hurley out for a few hours she'd handwavily given Karla a call, then took a seat on her bed to try and meditate for a little while. Talking about that particular experience was always unnerving, and just thinking about it now already had her on edge. Ergo, meditating. Or trying, anyway.

[OOC: Post is for peoples what know who they are, up whoa early for great SP justice and roomie modded with permission. Note to self, in case you forget because you are a flake, details of convo with Karla NFB like whoa, please. Notice for triggeriness: the thread with Karla will concern not-exactly-vague memories of torture, so consider that a heads-up.]
weetuskenraider: (Concentrating (Use the Force))
As decidedly less than thrilled Tahiri had been about the fact that someone had been able to pick up on her little mental friend so easily, Karla had offered her help. Riina had been pretty quiet lately -- but Tahiri didn't feel like counting on that to last. Although she wasn't holding out too much hope yet that there was actually a chance the girl she'd only just met a few days ago could do something about this problem, it definitely couldn't hurt to find out.

So with Hurley out for a few hours she'd handwavily given Karla a call, then took a seat on her bed to try and meditate for a little while. Talking about that particular experience was always unnerving, and just thinking about it now already had her on edge. Ergo, meditating. Or trying, anyway.

[OOC: Post is for peoples what know who they are, up whoa early for great SP justice and roomie modded with permission. Note to self, in case you forget because you are a flake, details of convo with Karla NFB like whoa, please. Notice for triggeriness: the thread with Karla will concern not-exactly-vague memories of torture, so consider that a heads-up.]
weetuskenraider: (Thoughtful)
News from home continued to be grim, but that was par for the course these days and so far nothing particularly troubling had come up, although there had been several not so subtle inquiries as to whether she was making much progress in her flight class. (If Tahiri had been insane enough to let on who was teaching said class, she suspected those inquiries would be a lot less restrained.) Somebody had something in mind, clearly, and Tahiri made up her mind that she'd better get serious about asking Jaina for those extra flying lessons sometime soon.

She transmitted her most recent report -- wow, they really had no idea how much she was leaving out -- and set her datapad aside, reaching for a holocube that sat on her nightstand, one that Tionne and Kam had sent her a little while ago. The image inside was of her and Anakin in the days shortly before he'd left the academy to go fight in the war; Tahiri turned the holocube over in her hands but didn't really look at it.

After a minute or two, she set it back on the nightstand and tucked her knees up under her chin, staring out the window into the growing darkness. It had been a hell of a week, and maybe getting away for a day or two would be a good idea.

[OOC: Door is closed, and post is for a certain barefoot buddy but open if you wanna knock or stop by, or live here! *kicks emo girl*]
weetuskenraider: (Thoughtful)
News from home continued to be grim, but that was par for the course these days and so far nothing particularly troubling had come up, although there had been several not so subtle inquiries as to whether she was making much progress in her flight class. (If Tahiri had been insane enough to let on who was teaching said class, she suspected those inquiries would be a lot less restrained.) Somebody had something in mind, clearly, and Tahiri made up her mind that she'd better get serious about asking Jaina for those extra flying lessons sometime soon.

She transmitted her most recent report -- wow, they really had no idea how much she was leaving out -- and set her datapad aside, reaching for a holocube that sat on her nightstand, one that Tionne and Kam had sent her a little while ago. The image inside was of her and Anakin in the days shortly before he'd left the academy to go fight in the war; Tahiri turned the holocube over in her hands but didn't really look at it.

After a minute or two, she set it back on the nightstand and tucked her knees up under her chin, staring out the window into the growing darkness. It had been a hell of a week, and maybe getting away for a day or two would be a good idea.

[OOC: Door is closed, and post is for a certain barefoot buddy but open if you wanna knock or stop by, or live here! *kicks emo girl*]

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Tahiri Veila

July 2013

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