weetuskenraider | Borleias, Sunday Night Fandom Time

So far, Tahiri was a little annoyed that she was missing spring break for this; she'd spent most of the time since they'd arrived (and that had been fun, running a gauntlet of Yuuzhan Vong ships in an ancient Corellian YT-1300 freighter to get here) cooling her heels in one of the Millennium Falcon's cabins or wandering around the base on Borleias, trying not to look too visibly irritated at the speculative looks she'd get from someone or other. It was like they weren't sure what to make of her; some of them were curious about the Jedi student who'd been tortured by the Yuuzhan Vong, and a lot of the looks she got from people she knew seemed to say We thought you'd be doing a lot worse than you are.

She had to admit they had a point; she'd barely been holding it together back on Hapes before she'd left for Fandom, to the point where it had almost been a miracle when she was mobile. Still, the curiosity made her self-conscious, not to mention impatient as all hell. She'd barely seen Jaina at all since she arrived, and that was fine with her, really; after dealing with the Jaina in Fandom, the one here was about as approachable as a hungry Sarlacc. And Tahiri herself was irritable -- she'd already lost count of the number of times someone had made a reference to "Vong" and given her an odd glance when she reflexively corrected them: "Yuuzhan Vong."

At least so far, it wasn't looking like she was here on babysitting detail. That was a relief.

There was a knock on the door to the quarters she'd been assigned, and a quick Force probe told her that it was Mara. And . . . oh. She was really glad she'd been practicing this back in Fandom, now, as she locked her shielding down as tight as she could. "Come in," she called, and the door slid open.

If Mara noticed at all, she must have assumed that Tahiri was repressing more than she was letting on, because she came into the room and gave Tahiri a concerned look. "How are you doing?"

"Fine." Tahiri was very, very determinedly not looking at Mara -- or more specifically, at the sleeping baby in Mara's arms.

"Seriously, Tahiri," Mara pressed.

"I'm doing fine," she insisted. "You don't have to tell me everybody's wondering. I can tell, you know."

"It's not an easy thing to get over," Mara said carefully.

Tahiri shut her eyes. "Yeah. I know. But Fandom's been good for me that way." Please don't ask me for the details, please, please . . .

Much to her relief, Mara just nodded. "We were hoping it would be."

"It has." Tahiri took a deep breath and actually looked up at her this time. "Thank you." She couldn't help catching a glimpse of baby Ben, this time, and she had to smile.

"He's probably grown since the last time you saw him," Mara remarked.

Oh, you have no idea, Tahiri thought, glad for her shielding when she thought of Ben's -- her Ben's -- grief after his mother died.

"He's staying with you now?" was what she asked, her eyes dropping to her hands again. "Ever since Coruscant?"

"For now," Mara allowed. "But we're heading for Coruscant -- again -- soon. Leia and Han agreed to babysit."

Because their kids never got kidnapped, Tahiri remembered Ben saying last week. It had been a joke then, but now, thinking of how frustrated he'd been because they were always away, it made her mad. "How much time have you spent with him, really, since he was born?"

"Excuse me?" Mara's surprise must have gotten to Ben, because he stirred in her arms and made a noise; Tahiri almost made a move to comfort him, but gritted her teeth and kept still. "You do know there's a war going on, right?"

"That's my point," Tahiri said, feeling tears threaten to form in her eyes for more than the immediately obvious reason. "You're his parents, and he needs you, and you're so far away from him all the time. Do you think that's going to keep you from having a connection, or just make him mad at you?" Part of her couldn't believe she was talking to a Jedi Master this way, but she couldn't stop the words now if she tried.

"That's a dumb question," Mara said, her tone more subdued this time.

"If you say so," Tahiri said, backing down a little. She'd lost the fight with not crying, and turned away to hide the tears. The words were still bubbling out of her, broken every now and then as she struggled to keep her voice under control. "But you can reach out to him at any time, and -- click, you'll be connected again. There's a point where you realize that you've had the last talk you're ever going to have with someone you love. That he's gone. And let me tell you, it really sucks. Don't -- don't let that happen, okay?"

She never thought she'd ever be the one to make Mara Jade Skywalker get that look on her face, and Tahiri kind of wanted to die a little (okay, a little more), but there was no way she could have left it unsaid.

"You haven't had any action since you got here," Mara finally said, "and I can guess that's driving you crazy. Think you're up for a shift on patrol?"

The invitation was a relief in more ways than one, and Tahiri nodded. "You're on."

"Meet you outside in thirty, then," Mara said, and left the room with no further comment.

Tahiri got up, rubbed a hand over her face, and went to go find the refresher.

[OOC: NFB, NFI, OOC-OK, all that jazz, and we're off! (For the next week I cram two books' worth of action in. Er. This is the first time I've ever done a canon catchup thing, OMG. *flail*) Most of this is mine, but part of the dialogue is adapted from Enemy Lines 1: Rebel Dream by Aaron Allston, from a conversation Tahiri actually has with Jaina; it just seems to make sense for FH Tahiri to have it with Mara here. Thanks to

momslilassassin for letting me use an AU wee baby Ben!]