Room 529, Thursday Midday

[weetuskenraider]

As decidedly less than thrilled Tahiri had been about the fact that someone had been able to pick up on her little mental friend so easily, Karla had offered her help. Riina had been pretty quiet lately -- but Tahiri didn't feel like counting on that to last. Although she wasn't holding out too much hope yet that there was actually a chance the girl she'd only just met a few days ago could do something about this problem, it definitely couldn't hurt to find out.

So with Hurley out for a few hours she'd handwavily given Karla a call, then took a seat on her bed to try and meditate for a little while. Talking about that particular experience was always unnerving, and just thinking about it now already had her on edge. Ergo, meditating. Or trying, anyway.

[OOC: Post is for peoples what know who they are, up whoa early for great SP justice and roomie modded with permission. Note to self, in case you forget because you are a flake, details of convo with Karla NFB like whoa, please. Notice for triggeriness: the thread with Karla will concern not-exactly-vague memories of torture, so consider that a heads-up.]

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[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri turned bright red and ducked her head for a moment or two; she might be blunt, but in some ways she was still incredibly easily embarrassed.

"I --" She started to speak, and suddenly realized that I want her gone wasn't what she wanted to say. "What I said back then, in the shaper's compound, about wanting to feel whole again . . . that's what I want. I'm tired of being half of one thing and half of another. I don't want to be pulled in two directions at once."

She took a deep breath and continued more slowly. "Anakin had a vision of me, grown up, Yuuzhan Vong, and a dark-side Force user. He came after me by himself to keep that from happening."

In my world, half of that never comes true, Ben had said.

"I won't let it happen either."

[glacial_queen]

Karla breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, good. I thought you were going to ask me to get rid of her. Because I can't. She is a part of you that they created. At first, I assumed that she was some kind of implant, a parasite or something. But she isn't. She's you."

"But I can help merge her into Tahiri-proper. I can help make you whole again."

[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri's shoulders slumped; part of her had still wanted to just be rid of Riina, although she'd known -- but hadn't quite wanted to admit -- the prospect had been dwindling. She wasn't the only one who'd grown and learned over the past two years.

"I need some time to think about this," she said quietly.

[glacial_queen]

"I understand," Karla said gently. "It's a lot to take in, and you've been through a lot today. I'm so sorry you had to relive that. Mother Night, I'm so sorry. But we'll work through it, I promise."

[weetuskenraider]

"I'm sorry you had to go through that with me," Tahiri murmured, staring at her hands. "I should have warned you how bad it was going to be."

[glacial_queen]

"It's fine," Karla lied. "I'll be okay. I've seen a...lot of dark things. At home."

That part was true. As a matter of fact, those memories were kind of pressing the surface of her mind. But Karla did her best to keep her expression unruffled and her emotions placid.

[weetuskenraider]

Now that they were out of her memories, Tahiri projected calm toward Karla in the Force. "Well," she said haltingly, "that's . . . now you know."

[glacial_queen]

"Now I know," Karla agreed. "And, as senior Black Widow here, I prescribe a healthy dose of chocolate. For both of us. Possibly some wine, too."

She was fairly proud of her ability to keep it together. But, right now, Tahiri and her emotional well-being were the main targets of her attention. She could fall apart later, but, for now, until she knew Tahiri was okay, Karla was going to continue to be All Right. She owed Tahiri her strength.

"Are you going to be able to sleep tonight?" Karla asked. Bedtime was hours away, but it was always best to be prepared.

[weetuskenraider]

"Eventually, yeah," Tahiri assured her. "Ben's supposed to come by later."

She fiddled with a frayed thread on her trouser cuff and smiled shakily at Karla. "But for now, chocolate sounds good."

[glacial_queen]

"I'm glad that you'll have someone here," Karla said. "After something like that, it's good to have a trustworthy friend drop by." She called in a small vial anyway, and placed it on Tahiri's desk. "It's a sleeping brew," Karla explained. "I made it myself. It's the kind of brew that helps you fall asleep, but doesn't keep you asleep, so you don't have to worry about sleeping through--fire drills or anything." Karla had nearly said 'attacks,' but just because that was what she was concerned about didn't mean that she had to make it a concern of Tahiri's, too. "Though it does make it harder to recall your dreams upon waking." Which would probably be a blessing.

"As for chocolate," she said, snagging the forgotten bag of goodies from J,GOB, "you get first pick."

[weetuskenraider]

"There isn't anyone I'd rather have around after that," Tahiri admitted with only a brief flash of guilt. She picked out a very chocolatey chocolate eclair and started to nibble at it. "And I could probably use that brew . . . so thanks."

[glacial_queen]

"Well, I'm staying until you let me know it's time for me to leave," Karla said bluntly. "Which you can at any time, but only if you want me to go, okay? I've cleared my schedule, so there's nothing I need to worry about getting back to." She fished a dynamite stick out of the bag. "Though I do hope I can at least finish this, first."

[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri brushed crumbs off her jumpsuit and let out a tiny laugh. "I think that actually made me hungry. Is there anything else you need to know? About what happened?"

[glacial_queen]

"I can't think of anything just yet," Karla admitted, licking some of the caramel from the pastry off her fingers. "But I may just need a bit of time and distance to sort through everything. If I have questions later, may I ask them?"

[weetuskenraider]

"You bet." There was usually more fire in her voice when she said that. "I guess you need time to get over it too."

Tahiri chuckled again, sardonically. "So yeah, welcome to the war Jaina and I are fighting back home."

[glacial_queen]

"It was pretty intense," Karla said quietly. "Reminds me in some ways of things I'd left back home. But that's the nature of the game, I suppose. People's who've had lives filled with rainbows and unicorns and puppies generally don't need to speak to Black Widows."

[weetuskenraider]

Well. Tahiri had had what amounted to a centaur and two mermaids for friends when she was younger, for what that was worth. WTF, JJK, WTF. But Lyric and Lusa had both been run down and killed by the Yuuzhan Vong's Jedi-hunting voxyn -- it had been Lusa's death that had, in part, spurred Anakin to push Luke to mount the fateful mission to Myrkr -- and Sannah was in the Maw along with all the other young Jedi students (and baby Ben).

"That doesn't make our galaxy come out sounding very good," she tried to joke.

[glacial_queen]

"Remind me to tell you what's going on in my home Territory sometime," Karla said, subdued. "We have our own fair share of horrifying, I promise you that. Kaeleer is home to a Territory of unicorns, and yet we human Blood still manage to find reasons and ways to hurt one another. It's not a trait unique to either your galaxy or my home, unfortunately."

[weetuskenraider]

"No, I suppose not," Tahiri allowed, taking another bite of the pastry.

[glacial_queen]

"Which just means that unpleasant though your memories are," Karla continued, "there's very little that can shock me. Startle, yes. Horrify, of course. And if I even tried to tell you that your memories didn't rattle me a bit, you'd have every right to toss me out on my ear for lying. But...I'll understand. Better than many others, I think. I've seen a fair bit of the cruelty in the souls of humans--and now the...You-zan Vung?-or, at least, it's aftermath. I will walk this rode with you, and you need not fear for me. Okay?"

[weetuskenraider]

"Okay," Tahiri said with a tiny smile. "I believe you."

[glacial_queen]

"Good," Karla said. "That will make things much easier."

She was silent for a few moments, finishing her dynamite stick. Then, "Will this cause her to wake up?" she asked. "In cases like these, witnessing the creation of the other personality often causes them to be more active. Do you think Riina will respond? If she tries, do you have ways of keeping her quiet?"

[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri shook her head. "I think I can keep her under control. I thought she was gone completely for a long time, until the last time I was home on a mission, and she's asserted herself a few times since then. She usually gets active when I'm trying to think like a Yuuzhan Vong, or under a lot of stress."

[glacial_queen]

"...And this wasn't stressful? Or, at least, stressful enough?"

[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri shot her a wry smile. "At least I'm not alone right now. And you understand, now. It helps."