I Know Something About Pain You Don't

She was used to being pulled in two directions at once; she'd had to make the choice between her Jedi training and her life with her Tusken tribe seven years ago, she'd lived with Riina Kwaad's growing consciousness for months now, and she still had trouble with the whole concept of "moving on doesn't mean betraying Anakin." So -- used to it. That didn't mean she had to like the feeling. ( Which was why when Jacen came looking for her after dinner, Tahiri wasn't sure what to think. )

[OOC: NFI, NFB, OOC-okay, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, his acronyms are my acronyms too. Adapted, again, from Destiny's Way by Walter Jon Williams. Hey, I didn't have to make up this part either!]

This, Tahiri reflected as she adjusted her uniform for the fifth time, could be considered absolutely ridiculous. There was a lot that was absurd, actually: that she was in a New Republic military uniform (though insignia-free, since she wasn't actually part of the military) to begin with, that they let her get away without wearing regulation boots, that she was at this meeting in her new capacity as a squadron commander.

The cherry topping on the ice cream sundae of absurdity here was the fact that here she was, sitting in one of the leather armchairs in the Ralroost's conference room waiting for the strategic planning meeting to start, and her feet didn't touch the floor.

Seriously. Under less strict circumstances this would be hilarious.

( Tahiri had to revise that opinion fairly quickly, though, when Jacen took the seat next to her and gave her a smile, and she had to remind herself not to freeze up or move away. )

[OOC: NFB, NFI, OOC okay, insert gratuitous acronyms here. Adapted from (and dialogue taken from) the short story Ylesia by Walter Jon Williams, and WTF canon, WHY DO YOU HAVE A SEPARATE SHORT STORY SET BETWEEN TWO CHAPTERS OF THE BOOK?!?]

Tahiri took her sleep when and where she could get it lately, which wasn't nearly as regularly as she'd like. And yes, part of that was her trying to avoid the dreams. They'd been a problem for two years now, ever since the fall of Yavin 4 and her time in the Yuuzhan Vong shaper compound, but they'd been more frequent since her last trip to Coruscant, more vivid since she'd taken Karla into her memories and relived her torture, more complicated since she'd learned certain things from Ben. And worse by far, of course, since Myrkr. In combination, it really wasn't conducive at all to sleep.

There was only so long she could go, though, before the healing trances she wasn't very good at yet didn't do the trick any more, and by the time she was done getting settled into her cabin the exhaustion had pretty much won out, so Tahiri gave in, stretched out on the bed in her alcove, and closed her eyes.

( This, as it turned out, was exactly why she didn't get much rest lately. (Oh hey there, angst. Again.) )

That was when she woke, as she always did. Tahiri immediately made her way to the bathroom to splash water on her face -- that was a little trickier in the cabin, especially when she was disoriented -- then headed back to her alcove.

Not that she'd be sleeping this time.

[OOC: Just establishy, NFI, and for serious, I was planning on this before I knew trickster_twin was doing something really similar, but it's kind of an awesome coincidence. Bits and pieces of this have been borrowed and tweaked from Edge of Victory 2: Rebirth by Greg Keyes and the evil, evil, evil Star by Star by Troy Denning. OOC's okay though.]

She was really starting to think she was long overdue for a break; it had been another rough week, and yesterday's talk with Master Skywalker was still churning around in her thoughts. Too much worry about this possible dark-side future version of herself, about what connection this might have to Riina. Riina, who according to Karla's theory couldn't simply be done away with. It scared her. Fear led to anger, anger led to the dark side, and then she was right back around to being scared again. She needed to be calmer, more focused, if she was going to do anything about all this.

Tahiri picked her way down the beach toward what had become her customary spot, seated herself comfortably in the sand beside the rock outcropping, and closed her eyes. She let her breathing slow, let her thoughts follow suit, and fell into a meditative trance.

It could have been minutes, or hours, she wasn't sure -- but a clear call for help resonated through the Force and snapped her back to attentiveness. Springing back to her feet, Tahiri put on a burst of Force-assisted speed and sprinted back toward the dorms long enough to grab her lightsaber from the weapons locker, then darted toward the woods and the source of the call.

[OOC: NFI and establishy!]