One of Those Secluded Coves on the Beach, Saturday Afternoon

[weetuskenraider]

Just because she'd gotten accustomed to never really having her brain all to herself any more didn't mean that Tahiri had to like it. The bad moments came and went; the past few days they'd never really gotten horrible, but they were more frequent than they had been. Her brilliant solution to those moments when they hit was to hide out, more often than not in some quiet spot in the preserve, or out here on the beach: natural spots, well away from as much technology as possible, and more importantly away from people. She didn't want to take the risk of a repeat incident like the one in the salle.

Sitting still was never something she'd been very good at, but spending time in meditative trances seemed to help. When she'd woken up this morning feeling more . . . fragmented than she liked, she'd picked her way out to a quiet spot and had been here ever since. Eyes closed, breathing slow and even -- it had taken a while to get calm enough to manage that -- and completely silent. Which, yes, for her, was strange.

It was working, at least. For now.

[OOC: Establishy, but open if you want, though as a warning she's not so much with the stable right now.]

Comments

[momslilassassin]

"Tahiri?" Ben called quietly, walking toward her.

[weetuskenraider]

It took her a minute to ease herself out of the trance and reply, even though she'd sensed him approaching.

She smiled slightly as she opened her eyes and looked up at him. "You were expecting someone else?"

[momslilassassin]

"I didn't want to surprise you," he said with an answering smile.

[weetuskenraider]

"Probably a good call." Tahiri unfolded her legs and stretched out in the sand, grimacing a little -- she'd been sitting in one position long enough to cramp up, apparently. "Hi."

[momslilassassin]

"Scale of one to ten, how's today?" he asked.

[weetuskenraider]

"Seven," Tahiri decided, and shrugged one shoulder. "The scale has shifted a little."

[momslilassassin]

Ben's worry leeched through the Force. "Okay," he said, sitting down next to her. "Have you talked to Karla yet?"

[weetuskenraider]

"I haven't had a chance yet," she said sheepishly. Because she'd been hiding almost all week.

[momslilassassin]

He reached his hand out toward her. "Do you still want her help?" he asked quietly.

[weetuskenraider]

"Yes," Tahiri said, curling her fingers around his hand. "I need it, actually. I'm just . . . scared, still, I guess. I'm sick of being scared," she added, frustrated.

[momslilassassin]

"I know you are," he said, squeezing her hand. "So confront it. Tell me the worst thing you think will happen."

[weetuskenraider]

"The worst thing?" She let out a fragile little laugh. "The worst thing I can think of is becoming everything I don't want to be. That Riina's going to be stronger than me in the end, and I'll end up with all her worst qualities."

[momslilassassin]

"And I say that's not going to happen," Ben said, sending a wave of absolute faith toward her.

[weetuskenraider]

She was going to hold onto that faith like a lifeline. "We won't let it," she said softly, squeezing his hand. "Right?"

[momslilassassin]

"Right," Ben said. "You fix me, I fix you."

[weetuskenraider]

"And we're going to fix this," Tahiri added. She kept saying that lately; she was trying to convince herself. "Until then, I think my social life might have to take a big nosedive."

[momslilassassin]

"Why?" Ben asked, snuggling closer.

[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder. "I don't want to end up hurting people again . . . or is that me being dumb?"

[momslilassassin]

Ben stroked her hair. "Trust your feelings," he counseled. "You know you best. But don't let her push you into doing something you don't want to just in case."

[weetuskenraider]

"She's not keeping me away from you or Firekeeper or any of my friends," Tahiri said with some of her usual spirit. "And I'm not missing classes or anything. Hanging out in common rooms might be off the list for a while though."

[momslilassassin]

"In case people who don't know you well say the wrong thing?" Ben guessed.

He took a deep breath. "Maybe you should stay out of my room, too," he blurted out, cheeks going crimson. "With all the electronics around. She won't like that."

[weetuskenraider]

"Yeah," Tahiri said, frowning, "to all of that. The last thing I need is to lose it at some poor unsuspecting student. I was thinking it would be a good idea to stay out of -- I'm not avoiding you, honestly, it's just uncomfortable."

[momslilassassin]

"Of course," Ben said quickly. "There's no point in aggravating her on purpose."

[weetuskenraider]

"You used to like doing that," Tahiri noted, not accusing at all. She tried for a laugh, which came out shaky. "I've been considering moving into the cabins for a while."

[momslilassassin]

Now Ben looked really worried. "It's that bad?"