Sixth Floor Safe Room, Thursday Night

[weetuskenraider]

She had been putting this off long enough, and after the insanity of the past few weeks, the more frequent lapses in her memory, and especially the news she'd gotten from home this morning Tahiri knew there was no way she could justify it any longer. She'd probably be needed, and soon, but more importantly she was sick of being a victim of someone inside her own head. To tell the truth she was annoyed with herself for putting it off this long . . . or maybe Riina was annoyed.

The fact that she couldn't tell only added to the argument that there was really no other choice. She felt bad about the timing -- Jaina, Karla, and Raven had not exactly had an easy time of it the last few days, but Karla and Raven had both been insistent, and Tahiri knew Jaina better than to think a minor injury would stop her. And there wasn't even a question of whether Ben wanted to be involved. (She'd asked anyway.)

Tahiri paused with her hand on the door and glanced back at the others. "Okay, so . . . here we go."

	Ben was hovering anxiously by her shoulder. "Let me know where you need me, okay?" he murmured.
	Karla glanced up from her preparations, giving Tahiri a gentle smile. "This is going to be rough," she said quietly, unwilling to lie, "but you'll be okay. You can do this. You're strong." Her Widow's Weeds swirled around her in a cloud of shimmery black fabric as she continued to weave the tangled webs that they'd need for the everything.
	Jaina wasn't big on pre-battle chatter, so she honestly didn't know what to say here, even if this wasn't quite the same thing. Others were better at emotional support, so she focused her attentions on watching what Karla was doing, since that was completely unfamiliar to her.
	Raven was extremely pleased that Tahiri was finally doing something about her problem, but she was anxious as well, hoping this would not be something as rough as what they'd gone through with Karla. "You can do this, I know you can," she said, echoing Karla's words.
	Tahiri reached for Ben's hand to give it a quick squeeze, and took a deep breath. "And I trust all of you to . . . to smack me if anything goes wrong." 'Smack' might be a massive understatement, but accurate statements were probably no one's friend right now. She gave them all as steady a smile as she could, with a quick pulse of gratitude, and moved over to the cot she'd set up in the safe room's programing. (She didn't think falling over in the middle of all this would be terribly dignified, much less helpful.) Before lying down she added with a touch of her old reckless confidence, "Even if nothing will. Right?"
	"Right," Ben said firmly, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "It'll be fine." And if it wasn't, well, he was first in line to fix that.
	"Damn right," Karla said, glancing at the small pot bubbling next to her, pleased to see that it had reached the right consistency. She couldn't cook to save her life, but when it came to potions, she knew what she was doing. "And we'll have ice cream ready to celebrate when it's over. There might even be enough for people who aren't named 'Ben' and 'Tahiri' to have some." The last thread of the web was knotted securely and tied off, and she snuffed the flames that had been heating the potion. Mother Night, she loved Craft. It was great for multitasking. She poured the potion into an earthenware mug and held it out to Tahiri. "You remember this, right? It's the same potion I gave you before. I'll still be there with you, so you won't be facing her alone, even though the confrontation is and must be yours alone." She gave Tahiri a crooked smile. "Don't scald your tongue, but you should drink it before it gets too cold. Tastes kinda awful when it's had a chance to thicken."
	"I remember. At least I've done it before." Tahiri smiled shakily in return and took the mug. She raised it to her lips and paused, looking around at all of them before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and drew on the Force for calm. The potion was hot, but she stubbornly drained the mug anyway -- and slumped back against the wall, sliding down into a small heap on the cot. When she opened her eyes again she wasn't in the safe room, but she knew this place better than she wished she did. This was the worldship above Myrkr all over again, the way she remembered it and had seen it in her dreams for the past year and a half, just darker. And she was looking straight into a pair of green eyes like her own, but colder. Tahiri smiled tightly. "Hello, Riina." Riina nodded back, unsmiling, and they both stood, not blinking, not flinching, not moving at all for a space that could have been moments or hours. Then Riina's hand twitched toward her belt to grab the hilt of her lightsaber. A lightsaber -- not the amphistaff Tahiri had been expecting, but she barely had time to register her surprise before the snap-hiss of the igniting blade cast their surroundings in dim blue light and revealed the edge of the canyon just meters from where they stood. With a grim nod, Tahiri detached her own lightsaber from her belt and thumbed it on, moving toward Riina.
	Raven had settled opposite Tahiri, sitting cross-legged with the backs of her hands resting on her knees, eyes closed and back straight as she reached out with her gifts. She couldn't see what Tahiri was facing, but she could feel the shift in her emotions, the sudden rush of anxiety as Riina ignited her lightsaber. "It is beginning," she murmured, needlessly, she knew, since Ben and Jaina were both Jedi, and Karla was bound to Tahiri by her own magics, but it helped fill the silence as they waited. She blanketed the room with confidence and calm for any who would accept it.
	Ben shot her a grateful smile before moving a little closer to Tahiri. It was strange to only feel emotions without really knowing what was causing them, but he recognized the feel of focus Tahiri had when she was fighting someone, and worried.
	Inside the dreamscape, Karla sat at rapt attention. The tension between Tahiri and Riina was almost palpable as they stared at one another. Were they communicating? She wasn't sure. Even though they were within Tahiri's own mind, there was much Karla could not discern. So much of her wanted to help Tahiri, but she forced herself to remain completely still, radiating calm. This was something Tahiri needed to do alone.
	Riina stalked toward Tahiri, mirroring and exactly matching her pace, twin lightsaber blades thrumming in unison as they closed on each other. Tahiri adjusted her grip, trying to read Riina's movements for a hint of her first move -- she was Yuuzhan Vong, no sense wasting time trying to read her in the Force -- when she felt something pass over her: a vague, comforting sense of warmth. She wondered if Riina had felt it too, but Riina's expression didn't change, and Tahiri wasn't about to let on that she'd noticed anything. Riina lunged, and Tahiri's blade met hers with a crackle of energy. They stood locked for a moment, neither quite realizing they wore the same determined look, then pushed back from each other. Tahiri whirled, slashing in low at Riina's flank only to find her blade parried again, and twisted out of the way just in time to avoid a vicious elbow jab to her ribs. She responded by whipping a high kick that Riina ducked before cutting at her neck. Tahiri blocked that blow and swept their blades out in a wide circle that just ended up with her jumping a low cut at her ankles, swinging for Riina's shoulder, and getting parried again. "You felt it too," Riina said as they darted in and out at each other, lightsabers weaving a pattern of blue light all around them. Tahiri nodded briefly, unnerved not so much by the question as by the way Riina sounded so much like her. "Do you know what it is?" Now it was Riina's turn to shake her head, and Tahiri took advantage of the moment of uncertainty to attack, a hard downward blow at Riina's head. It wasn't successful; Riina blocked her again, a stalemate just like every move in this duel so far. "Something's coming," Riina murmured. She was Yuuzhan Vong, they were treacherous, Tahiri shouldn't believe her . . . but she was starting to believe they weren't irredeemable, and she couldn't help opening herself to the possibility. "We could fight it together." That didn't sound like a good idea, but now she was wondering if the sense of calm had been the deception. It wasn't as if she could see what was out there beyond the edge of the chasm. "Why would I do that?" "Would you rather stand there while it picks us off? It'd be easy. Just like hunting scherkilhla." Tahiri didn't have to ask what they were; she knew. She shook her head again, hard, and swatted away Riina's next attack, but her conviction was wavering. Was this a good idea, or a bad idea? She didn't know, but giving in was starting to sound like it wouldn't be that bad. In the real world, lying on the cot, her fingers flexed and her expression turned uncertain.
	Ben reached for her hand and sent a wave of calm and assurance through the Force toward her.
	There was really nothing more frustrating for Jaina than to have to sit by and not be able to help, but she realized there wasn't anything she could do here. There were times you had to sit back and let someone fight it out for themselves, so she set her jaw and tried to keep her tension to herself.
	Raven sensed the struggle and confusion and wished she could do more to help. "Tahiri," she murmured. "Be strong."
	Karla was trying not to bite her nails as she watched them battle. It was unnerving how they could look so different and yet move so identically. Never had she been so tempted just to fling a rock or something. Just enough to knock Riina off balance... And then they spoke aloud. Karla whipped her head around, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever it was they were speaking of, but could see nothing.
	Over the repeated crackle of blade against blade, the grunts of effort, and their own increasingly labored breathing Tahiri thought she heard someone call her name. She was tired, and the sound was distorted; she couldn't spare the focus to reach out in the Force and get a sense of the voice's source. Instead, she shifted her weight further forward and pressed harder into the lightsaber bind, blinking sweat out of her eyes. "Did you hear that?" "I heard it." Why did Riina sound so relieved? "It's calling you. It doesn't want me." "Why me?" Tahiri threw her weight abruptly to one side, freeing her lightsaber, and launched a vicious slashing attack. "Why not you?" "I don't know," Riina answered, smirking but not quite confident as she propelled herself back out of Tahiri's reach with a powerful Force-assisted -- wait, what? -- leap. "But you know it'll come for you afterward." Tahiri gritted her teeth, sprang forward, and turned her tumble into a flying kick that Riina sidestepped, but just barely. "At least I won't have you at my back to worry about when it does." Riina spun, then squared to face her again. "It's not honorable to keep your back turned to an enemy in a fight. Nor practical." "I can only face one enemy at a time," Tahiri shot back. She let loose with an attack pattern like she'd never used before, putting more power into more skillful strokes than she thought she was capable of. Coming face to face with Riina, locked in yet another bind, it hit her: she felt . . . like Anakin had felt in the Force, just before he died. Sithspawn. She met Riina's startled eyes, and felt her own widening -- then nearly went sprawling when Riina lashed out with a hard Force shove. "No," Riina hissed. "I won't let you kill us." She turned and ran into the darkness. Tahiri followed, disappearing from Karla's view.
	Ben's grip on Tahiri's hand tightened, and his other reached out for Jaina, a silent plea for his own comfort.
	Jaina took his hand and squeezed it gently. There wasn't much she could do, but that had to count for something.
	Raven again really wished she could see what was happening. The shifting emotions were alarming, but at least she could tell that Tahiri was physically well. And so was Karla.
	Karla gasped, both in the physical world and in the mindscape. Her body surged, falling off the chair as her mental-self hurtled after Riina and Tahiri, cursing as creatively as she knew how.
	The sense of something looming nearby only got stronger they ran, and finally both Tahiri and Riina had to stop. "It's here," Riina murmured once they'd caught their breath; her eyes darted around, illuminated by the glow of their lightsabers, but neither of them could see a thing in the murk. It'd been nothing but dark and featureless for a while now. Tahiri just nodded. "I know." Riina moved a step closer, but made no sign of attacking. "You could help me fight it." They were both exhausted, and they didn't even have a clue what it was. "How --" Tahiri began, but Riina interrupted, speaking quietly and insistently. "You did it before. You've held me off this long. You're strong." "Not strong enough," Tahiri snapped. "Obviously. I mean, you're still here." "It wasn't me you were trying to destroy." Riina took a step back, narrowing her eyes at Tahiri. "It was you." Tahiri tightened her grip on her lightsaber. "Bantha poodoo. I haven't wanted to do that in a long time." "But long enough." She was right, and Tahiri couldn't even hate that she was. "Long enough. So it looks like we're stuck with each other now." "You don't sound too happy about that." A slow smile spread across Riina's face. "Probably because you know your friends won't be, either. Do you really think they'll trust you? Do you trust what we'll become? You remember Anakin's vision. You know what you'll do to Ben in some future. How do you know you're not taking a step onto that path now?" "Shut up!" She'd mostly gotten past that worry, but hearing her mirror image say the words out loud stirred up Tahiri's insecurity again. She sprang forward and swept her lightsaber at Riina in a blow the other girl hadn't been expecting -- -- and felt the searing pain of the slash across her own shoulder. Tahiri didn't realize the voice crying out in pain was her own.
	Raven cried out in pain at the same time, doubling over and clutching her shoulder. She knew what that pain meant; she'd felt it before. Gritting her teeth, she tried to dispel the pain and looked Tahiri over. The other girl had no visible wound, but she was definitely in pain, and now Raven wasn't sure if she should try to heal her anyway or just let things continue.
	Ben's grip on Jaina's hand grew a little painful. "Do we let her keep going?" he asked in a low voice.
	You know, she'd felt worse. Jaina could deal. Besides, she was more distracted by the question and her answer. "She's got to do this," she said, hoping she was right on that.
	"Bloody everlasting Hell!" Karla snarled, able to make out Tahiri and Riina in the distance. "I did not make this mental landscape so you two could run around it like a bleeding marathon!" Why did Jedi have to make everything so annoyingly complicated? She couldn't quite tell what was going on between them, though she did see Tahiri raise her lightsaber-- --and then cry out in pain. "I said you were connected!" It didn't matter that they couldn't hear her. That wasn't going to stop her from providing a grumbling commentary as she attempted to close the distance.
	Because they were Jedi, that was why. "Hu carjen-tok!" Tahiri really should have spent more time controlling her temper, or she'd have remembered what Karla had said before now. The pain cleared her head, at least. They were both injured, the cauterized gash in Riina's left shoulder mirroring the one in Tahiri's right. But the sensation out there in the darkness was getting clearer now. It wasn't predatory: someone was worried. I think you too must face this fire, she remembered Firekeeper saying, and slowly Tahiri lowered her lightsaber. "I think I've been running for too long. And I'm sick of fighting myself." The expression that flickered through Riina's eyes looked a lot like guilt, even though her objection sounded defiant. "You're not me." "And you're not me," Tahiri replied evenly. "But we're not anything, really, apart." She glanced at Riina's injury, then her own. "You think I want to lose who I am? I know you're scared. I am." Riina didn't answer the question, instead turning away to look into the darkness. "It's still looking for you, you know. Not me." She knew what it was, now. "I know." "It's not what you think it is." Tahiri snorted. "Isn't it?" The darkness shifted, solidified into the far-too-familiar cloning lab from the worldship above Myrkr that she'd seen so many times in her dreams. "Not exactly. It's not that you feel guilty that you survived," Riina said, sweeping an arm around. "You feel guilty about moving on." She paused, and gestured toward Tahiri's wound. "I don't. You're holding us both back, don't you see that?" It wasn't just her guilt, Tahiri realized. Or it was, but it wasn't some shapeless presence. It was her friends. Ben, Jaina, Karla, Raven. Firekeeper. Master Skywalker. Zayne. Tara. Hurley. Even Leia. Everyone in Fandom who'd made her laugh at some point. "They all think you're okay," Riina said quietly. "They like you the way you are. What do you think they'll think of me?" "You helped Tara," Tahiri retorted. Riina shook her head. "But she's scared of me. Ben doesn't like me either. Jaina has every reason to hate me. I attacked Karla and Raven, remember? Do you think they'll want to know I'm there, all the time? You said you were tired of fighting. I am, too. But they don't want what we'll become. The only thing holding us back is them." She sounded so certain, and Tahiri . . . wasn't. "You know what we have to do," Riina pressed. Tahiri swallowed and brought her lightsaber back up. "Yeah. I know."
	Ben's internal flailing was being kept behind incredibly high mental shielding--he didn't want to overwhelm the other empaths in the room with his own issues--but he focused on Tahiri and began sending her the list that they'd long joked about, full of all the things he loved and admired about her. He didn't really care if she couldn't hear him. It was stopping him from doing something stupid like trying to wake her back up.
	Raven could feel Tahiri's uncertainty. "Courage, Tahiri," she murmured, sending a wave of reassurance to her friend. Whatever she was facing, she had faith Tahiri would make the right decision.
	Frighteningly in sync, Tahiri and Riina turned to face in the direction they sensed the presence and raised their lightsabers; Tahiri didn't need to see Riina's face to tell how much she was relishing this prospect. The eagerness in her voice was clear. "Let's kill them." Tahiri nodded -- but there was Ben's familiar presence, and Raven's. Jaina's, and Karla's. That wasn't fear of her; it was confidence and love. She turned to look at Riina and said, simply, "No." Riina, about to charge forward, whipped her head around to stare at Tahiri instead. Tahiri just smiled. "That's what you wanted, isn't it? But that wouldn't free me from what's holding me back. It'd only send me to the dark side. And I think that's exactly what you want." Riina had no answer. "You weren't wrong, you know. We do need each other. But I'm not going to the dark side to let that happen. I'd die first, and you know what? I really don't want to do that." She reached out with her free hand and grabbed Riina's, staring her down, holding her gaze until Riina was the one who looked as uncertain as Tahiri had felt until a few minutes ago. Had felt for years, ever since Yavin 4. "This is my world, and if you want to live in it you're doing it on my terms. But I'm sick and tired of being lost." Riina tried to pull away, the terrified look in her eyes painfully familiar. "There has to be another way!" Tahiri looked down at their hands, already meshing into one another. "There isn't," she answered, and held Riina's gaze as the meld began in earnest.
	Karla rounded the corner in the dreamscape, trying not to stumble or fall in any of the sudden protrusions that kept cropping up. She couldn't tell if these were traps set by Riina to keep her away or cautions from Tahiri's subconscious, so Karla wouldn't get hurt (or interfere) with what was about to happen. It couldn't stop her, but it had slowed her down. In truth, Karla wasn't entirely sure what she'd find--and what she could do to alter it. Or might do. And then she saw them. Tahiri, looking more herself than Karla had ever seen her. Riina, confused and unsure. Their hands, a connection point between them. They were becoming whole at last.
	Come back to me, Ben sent, again, not really expecting her to pick up on the words. He twined his fingers between hers and held on like his physical presence would stop her from hurting.
	Raven could feel the shift in emotions, the fear and uncertainty turning to calm and determination. "I think it is working," she said softly. "It is almost done."
	"I like those words," Jaina said absently, still watching Tahiri. Waiting this long had been bad enough, but waiting to see what would happen when it was over was slightly more unnerving, something she found herself clamping down to keep anyone else from picking up on it.
	Tahiri wasn't entirely sure what would happen when this was over either. But holding Riina's gaze, watching her certainty falter as Tahiri's own confidence grew stronger, only backed up her guess that this was the right way. She didn't see the uncanny and quite frankly creepy way they were physically melding into each other; she just felt like she was watching and sensing the ragged edges of a wound knitting themselves together at breakneck speed in an ultra-intensive healing trance. Which was to say it kriffing hurt. But that was okay. It was just pain. The part of her that was Tahiri had suffered worse. The part of her that was Riina understood that pain was a part of life. "They're waiting," Tahiri told her mirror image, now so close to her that their foreheads touched. Ben's words didn't echo through their surroundings in some creepy mystical way, but the sentiment was almost tangible in the air around them, infusing their surroundings with reassurance. Tahiri smiled. "See?" Riina met her eyes, and the last thing Tahiri remembered seeing was her double's fear dissipating before there wasn't anything left to see. She coughed, grimacing at the dryness in her throat, and tried to sit up weakly on the cot.
	Ben's arm was there immediately to help her sit up. "Tahiri?" he asked, watching her eyes carefully.
	Within the dreamscape, Karla used Craft to make sure there was no further hint of an independent Riina, no part of her that had hidden herself away, escaping the meld. Once she was certain that the convergence was complete, she also opened her eyes, aware of the sweat beading at her brow and the gnawing feeling in her stomach. She ignored both in favor of beaming at Tahiri. "Congratulations," she said. "I knew you could do it."
	Raven could feel Tahiri's pain fading, and Ben was right there at her side, so she rose and moved over to Karla. "Are you all right?" she asked, trying to make sure her friend wasn't hiding anything beyond the rest and food she sensed Karla needed.
	"I'm good," Karla said tiredly, still grinning from ear to ear. "All I did was hold the dreamscape steady. Tahiri did all the hard work. Just give me a moment to catch my breath and I'll be right as rain." Though a sandwich or five wouldn't hurt, either.
	Tahiri leaned into Ben -- she was still more than a little shaky, not to mention drenched in sweat and exhausted. "Force," she said, coughing when she realized her throat was much dryer than she'd expected. "I could use a shower." She looked around the room, from Karla and Raven to Jaina, then back at Ben, and smiled. It wasn't the uncertain smile that had somehow become her default over the past year and change, the one that was always holding back a little bit at the edges, but a real one, probably something nobody here but Jaina might have ever seen before. "You're all okay?"
	Ben wrapped his arms around her. "Astral," he assured her.
	"Much less stressed now," Jaina admitted with a little smile. What, she was relieved, she was going to admit it.
	"How do you think I feel?" Tahiri asked, a much better attempt at a joke than she'd made in a while. "Besides like a vua'sa's armpit. I really want that shower, and I think I was promised ice cream . . ."

[OOC: With much love for the preplay to momslilassassin, glacial_witch, trickster_twin, and trigons_child. Let's call this one NFB, 'kay? Heavily, heavily adapted from the godawful Force Heretic III: Reunion by Sean Williams and Shane Dix, now with 99% less slashiness. OOC okay, and huzzah, dangling plot point dealt with! (Finally. I suck.)]